Everything Happens for Reason by Mira Kirshenbaum
I really enjoyed this book and HIGHLY recommend it for anyone who wants to understand the meaning behind events in our lives. Mira is a psychotherapist which allows her to have extensively researched the eye-opening events and the meanings they hold for an individual during the course of her career. She has broken them down into 10 reasons…each giving a spiritual and intuitive insight into personal growth and understanding. For anyone going through a divorce, recovering from an illness, gaining back strength after an accident, or grieving over a loved one..this book can bring peace to the soul. Mira has written several other books and I am interested in reading them as well as they pop up in my Library-fi-cation Project. I think one of the things I loved about the book was how much she focuses on overcoming fears. It’s also very well written and she uses beautiful phrases to weave together a fabric of encouragement and motivation to really change your life by SEEING it differently. I can’t say enough good things about this book. Some stand out points in the book:
Kirshenbaum Seven-Step Method for Overcoming Fear
1. What am I really afraid of?
2. What’s the worst that can happen?
3. How likely is it?
4. Can I prevent this?
5. Can I insure myself against this?
6. Could I cope with it if the thing I’m afraid of came to pass?
7. Who can I talk to about this?
“Find your way to liking yourself by looking at what you’ve had trouble accepting and asking yourself, “ How is this good?” And search for an answer, as if the wisest guru on the planet had given you this as the theme for your meditation.
“Real love is not just how you feel about your partner. It’s much more how your partner makes you feel about yourself.
Real love is not about losing yourself in your partner. It’s about becoming true to yourself with your partner.
Real love is not about how great your partner is. It’s about how great you can become alongside your partner.
Real love is not just about how much you love your partner. It’s about how your partner helps you love yourself.
Real love is not just about your partner finding room in his or heart for you. It’s about your partner finding room in his or her life for your energy, drive, ambition, passions, interests, and needs.
Real Love is not just based on how god your partner is “deep down.” It’s based on how much you actually experience your partner’s goodness as you live your life together.
Real love is not based on how your partner makes you hungry to be with him or her. It’s based on how much your partner makes you feel at home when you are with each other.
Real love is not about the love you say you share. It’s about the life you really do share, fully, equally, deeply.
Real love is about treating your partner the way you’d want to be treated.
Real love is about falling in like.”
“Instead of thinking about what you wish you’d done differently in the past, think about how you can do things differently in the future. From now on in my relationship I’m going to pay more attention to what I really need and make sure my important needs get met, or From now on in all my relationships I’m going to be more honest about who I really am even if I find that a little scary. You can’t fix the past, but you can fix your life if you do in the future what you wish you’d done in the past.”
“Love is richest , most genuine, and most long lasting when you focus on being yourself and doing everything you can to make it possible for the other person to be him- or herself.”
I loved her discussion on shrines and how people hold onto the past. This in turns keeps them from moving forward in life and holds them back.
“But at some point she has got to get up, go in that room, and dismantle that shrine. That means throwing some stuff away, putting other stuff in boxes, and maybe putting other things in a scrapbook. And then she has to turn that space into a room that can be used by the living.”
“What are our shrines? Whatever we use to make the present serve the past. There is a different between a shrine and a commemoration. If someone you love dies, of course you are going to want to keep photographs of that person. You’re just commemorating the past. But if you spend all day kneeling in front of those photographs, your present is being destroyed to serve the past.”
WISE INDEX: 4 OWLS